if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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