I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
