your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
