He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What drink are we having for lunch?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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