In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Porn is love you can see.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The adults are the big ones right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
