Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
