Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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