yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
