i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
