i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
