Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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