Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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