when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
