mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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