no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
