the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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