I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
