I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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