Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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