A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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