Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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