All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
