My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
