Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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