Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need to sanitize my soul.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
