Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
