Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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