Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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