actually, I'm a sock model
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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