You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
