I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
