is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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