god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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