she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
