I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
