is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
