She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
