And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
