Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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