white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
