Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize