Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
