Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize