It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Randomize
