Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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