I hate all girls vehemently.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
