I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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