brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
