mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sobbing to NWA
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
