U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
