he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize