And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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