I wish you could order shots online.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
