:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
