Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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