Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
