Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
