Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
