haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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