Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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