i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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