dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
