saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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