My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
