I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
