I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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