The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The struggles of a small town man whore
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
