your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have already put on my inside pants.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
