FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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