No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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