i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
