there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
