this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
